August 2006: leaving kyowadaini 305
August 2007: leaving 64/6 w.mains...
I don't know how I managed it but I did. Woke up today with a hangover at 1 in the afternoon, packed a suitcase and two big boxes, moved it all to a friends place where I'll be staying till I get a flat (hopefully soon), went across town for a flat viewing appointment,ran half a mile to catch a bus back, took a shower got ready for dinner at a friends, again another side of town...by the end of it all...even though I managed to do alot today, I don't know exactly how I did it...it was all such a rush. Now im back home, dead tired for one last time, sleeping on this bed for one last night. Still got some laundry do to and a box and some other stuff to haul over to temp flat in the early hours of morning. Then at 10 am, Mr. manager is gna come a -knockin' to check the place. My room is pretty alright..guess I can expect the deposit back. It better be so.
hmmm..doesnt look like tomorrow is gna be a chill out day either....more moving stuff, defrosting fridge, clearing a messy kitchen, bank stuff, dropping some clothes at cancer research .....guess i can relaaaax only after a few weeks...once i find,move and get settled in a place to call my own. I've had it with the moving. Also, NO INTERNET till i find a place so thats gna be a bit testing.
Have seen five flats till now, one was ...out of this world- clean, ikea furnishings, white carpets, gorgeous kitchen and large double bedrooms, en suit bathroom AND a communal garden AND holyrood park and the palace just 2 mintes walk away!! One place me n my current flatmate both loooved without any arguments! The landlord was sweet as well, a young guy...an architect... thereby explaining the excellent choice of interior designs. Anyway, the catch is..there is alot of competition for this place so he said he'll call us to let us know if we've got it. The wait is killing me coz want it soo bad. its gorgeous! Got my eyes n heart set on it. hope I won't have to get dissappointed coz the rest of the places are victorian tenement dumps compared to this one. fingers crossed.
Am very sad one of my uni friend is leaving for good. At his farewell dinner tonight, the food was good but the mood was bitter. If stress with moving wasnt enough by itself add to that the emotional turmoil of letting go...I did this whole thing a year ago dammit....now its happening all over again.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
dissertation status: over!
degree status: pending!
So this wait until November to find out if I get a Master of Science Degree or just a diploma is going to be intersting to say the least. The dissertation is the deciding factor. My work on it was a bit sketchy. Not sure if my not-so-rational arguements and methodological approach to policy research was academially valid, let alone intellectually stimulating. I was the last person in my course to submit my work and that too an hour late! I sat there trying to proof read and edit my 14700 word paper in front of a very pissed off postgrad secretary. Finally, she said its time she locked the office and went home after which I had no choice but to print my haphazard paper, un edited, un formatted, a mess- and sumbit it. I know right now what will play against me in marking-
a, Word count ...which was supposed to be 20,000.
b,lots of erronous writing
c, s fucked up title which I came up with in the last 2 minutes coz I had totally forgot about giving my work a title!!
d, a 2 paragraph disoriented conclusion written in 20 minutes.
e,awhole paragraph I was supposed to delete but forgot to in the last minute therefore looking like sore thumb in a fairly satisfactory flow of argument.
f, stands for FUCK!!!!!
g, alot more that two examiners are going to crtitique on.
Considering the above, my chances for a degree is on shaky grounds. I might get a 2 week period of revision if I come under the fail criteria. This is to improve the work a little so it can come up to a "proceed to MSc." criteria. But even of that does happen, it delays my graduation for up until a year!
This uncertainty imples that I cannot start looking for graduate jobs coz im not sure if im gratuating with a degree! As if I needed a reason NOT to job hunt in the first place. I was just looking through career services website for graduate jobs currently on offer...and there was nothing. Either their requirements put me off coz they asked for the PERFECT employable person or the job description itself was not my cup of ..erm..not my shot of tequila. I started with environmental consultant job search cz its relevant to my studies. But by the end of two hours, I was searching for jobs in publishing and editing, temping for lawyers, safari guides, and even law enforcement with the Strathcyle police!! Whatever will become of me. Meanwhile, I am slowly getting pressurized by mother dearest to start looking for the one...how she will not have me unmarried until im 30 or something. All this seems surreal to me- career,marriage, starting a family. I am old enough and I should get real but somehow,to borrow an analogy, peter pan still asks me to fly out the window. This is starting to be of some concern to me now.
Should I take it as it comes like i always have? Will things work out fine that way? Will life work out fine? The unanswered questions collected during this strange limbo is the worst of its kind.
I dont have a strategy for life, no game plan...I doubt many do either. My immediate hurdle is to find a decent flat and move in ASAP. Once thats realized will move on to the next question which is appropriately, "Now what?". Guess will take it as it comes coz I dont know any other way. I will not ask God for strength and clarity of vision for some gaol in life. Because what the guy does is just give you a trying situation to get yourself out of and "find" the strength in you yourself. All he does is give you a cloud of fog and mist to "find" what you search for.
degree status: pending!
So this wait until November to find out if I get a Master of Science Degree or just a diploma is going to be intersting to say the least. The dissertation is the deciding factor. My work on it was a bit sketchy. Not sure if my not-so-rational arguements and methodological approach to policy research was academially valid, let alone intellectually stimulating. I was the last person in my course to submit my work and that too an hour late! I sat there trying to proof read and edit my 14700 word paper in front of a very pissed off postgrad secretary. Finally, she said its time she locked the office and went home after which I had no choice but to print my haphazard paper, un edited, un formatted, a mess- and sumbit it. I know right now what will play against me in marking-
a, Word count ...which was supposed to be 20,000.
b,lots of erronous writing
c, s fucked up title which I came up with in the last 2 minutes coz I had totally forgot about giving my work a title!!
d, a 2 paragraph disoriented conclusion written in 20 minutes.
e,awhole paragraph I was supposed to delete but forgot to in the last minute therefore looking like sore thumb in a fairly satisfactory flow of argument.
f, stands for FUCK!!!!!
g, alot more that two examiners are going to crtitique on.
Considering the above, my chances for a degree is on shaky grounds. I might get a 2 week period of revision if I come under the fail criteria. This is to improve the work a little so it can come up to a "proceed to MSc." criteria. But even of that does happen, it delays my graduation for up until a year!
This uncertainty imples that I cannot start looking for graduate jobs coz im not sure if im gratuating with a degree! As if I needed a reason NOT to job hunt in the first place. I was just looking through career services website for graduate jobs currently on offer...and there was nothing. Either their requirements put me off coz they asked for the PERFECT employable person or the job description itself was not my cup of ..erm..not my shot of tequila. I started with environmental consultant job search cz its relevant to my studies. But by the end of two hours, I was searching for jobs in publishing and editing, temping for lawyers, safari guides, and even law enforcement with the Strathcyle police!! Whatever will become of me. Meanwhile, I am slowly getting pressurized by mother dearest to start looking for the one...how she will not have me unmarried until im 30 or something. All this seems surreal to me- career,marriage, starting a family. I am old enough and I should get real but somehow,to borrow an analogy, peter pan still asks me to fly out the window. This is starting to be of some concern to me now.
Should I take it as it comes like i always have? Will things work out fine that way? Will life work out fine? The unanswered questions collected during this strange limbo is the worst of its kind.
I dont have a strategy for life, no game plan...I doubt many do either. My immediate hurdle is to find a decent flat and move in ASAP. Once thats realized will move on to the next question which is appropriately, "Now what?". Guess will take it as it comes coz I dont know any other way. I will not ask God for strength and clarity of vision for some gaol in life. Because what the guy does is just give you a trying situation to get yourself out of and "find" the strength in you yourself. All he does is give you a cloud of fog and mist to "find" what you search for.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Military Tattoo- an experience worth the rain and money!
The 2007 Edinburgh Military Tattoo was simply amazing despite the light rain through out- a typically scottish expereince in a typically scottish weather. Never seen so many people in the city all at once. Despite the wet cold weather, the festival atmosphere was everywhere. Everyone seemed to be wearing those hideous one-size-fits-all ponchos with the scottish flag or the thistle flower printed on them. On the walk up to the castle, I was soon one of them, donning a yellow plastic rain poncho with scotland written all over it! We reached the castle just in time and the minute we settled in on our wet seats, the first performance started with a bang. It was the scottish military drill and band performances...imagine the sounds of a hundred bagpipes in the background of the castle at nighttime! That was followed by the taiwanese senior high school, all girls band which was quite amazing. Then there was the most amazing bike stunts I've ever seen in me life and we're talking 8 yr olds to 17 yr olds here! They ROCKed. Next up was the american and russian military band followed by the worlds only military steel drum band from trinidad and tobago! Fun fun. There was lot of fun stuff in between and as a finale ( my fav part), there was a lone scottish bagpiper playing on top of the castle with brilliant fireworks ... even when I think of it now I get goosebumps coz it was just so powerful and moving. One wierd thing was that on the eve of the 60th annivesary of my country's independence from the British, I had to stand for the English National Anthem at the end of the show! But it was all good. All in all, Im glad I didnt miss this. The entire experience was breathtaking. Its a little after midnight now, just got back home. And after a cup of extra strong expresso...im ready to stay up all night working on my dissertation. Will try and post some pics if they've come out nice. I still cant figure out alot of functions in my camera! :(
Monday, August 13, 2007
update on Dissertation and ME :)
Hello, Just dropped in for a bit to "take mind of dissertation". Am in the kitchen with my two other flatmates speed tying our dissertations. I have wasted alot of time no doubt and with about 10 days left, I was still finding new things to watch on youtube like Indian Idol!! The two of them came to my room today and dragged me out to sit with them in the bright kitchen without internet connection!! I did and it was a good thing. infact I should have done it ages ago. Coz without internet and in such a bright open room, u are bound to get some work done! I did about 1200 words today maing my total so far 7300. My ass hurts a bit coz of sitting for loooong hours typing. I have 20,000- 7300 words more to go. How much is that? I've been up working on this for 12 hours straight, I couldn't do the math if i tried.
Going to view a flat tomorrow. Have to move out by 29th. The twats hav also given a time. I feel like i have been living in a hotel for 9 months coz my "checkout time" is 11 am. Wonder if they'll fine me if I stay an hour longer hehe. Have got tickets or the Edinburgh Military Tattoo on tuesday. Its up at the castle but its been raining again so bet its gna be a wet evening. The festival season here is so great. Its a pity I cant make it to too many shows. Would love to catch a theatre and standup comedy at least but thats after 24th if im not too busy shifting flats.
On wed will be going for chak de india hehe..its on in the theatres here so I have succumbed to peer pressure even tho i actually should be sitting home typing some more.
I hate it that rare few days of scottish summer, the estival season and my dissertation all had to clash. But the day is near when my work shall be done here. I can just see my situation a night before the submission on 24th...last minute editing, formatting( which I suck at), sorting references, relaizing I havent yet written my abstract or acknowledgement bit and hurridly writing that, printing out 3 copies of my work which is ALOT of money, time and about 2100 pages. Getting it bound and fuck I cant breathe just thinking about it. I could try to avoid such a situation but knowing me I mostly likely cannot. Oh well..as long as I pass this freaking task. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do. Through this all I have learned one thing about myself...I cannot handle stress. My way of responding to stress and work load is sleeping..not coz im sleepy but because I try to escape reality by avoiding work. Also coz im shit lazy as fuck and no amount of me shouting retardedly to myself , " NO MORE OF THIS LAZY ACT"...It doesnt work at all. I have lost track of what im writing. I need sme sleep...not beor eI have a breakdown but before my laptp crashes coz its been thru alot of file load today. more later. Oh I statred this post with a hello..as in a ltetter style..coz I wanted to say hello to u guys coz its been so long. Not much news from ur side eitjer but im updating me.
night.
Going to view a flat tomorrow. Have to move out by 29th. The twats hav also given a time. I feel like i have been living in a hotel for 9 months coz my "checkout time" is 11 am. Wonder if they'll fine me if I stay an hour longer hehe. Have got tickets or the Edinburgh Military Tattoo on tuesday. Its up at the castle but its been raining again so bet its gna be a wet evening. The festival season here is so great. Its a pity I cant make it to too many shows. Would love to catch a theatre and standup comedy at least but thats after 24th if im not too busy shifting flats.
On wed will be going for chak de india hehe..its on in the theatres here so I have succumbed to peer pressure even tho i actually should be sitting home typing some more.
I hate it that rare few days of scottish summer, the estival season and my dissertation all had to clash. But the day is near when my work shall be done here. I can just see my situation a night before the submission on 24th...last minute editing, formatting( which I suck at), sorting references, relaizing I havent yet written my abstract or acknowledgement bit and hurridly writing that, printing out 3 copies of my work which is ALOT of money, time and about 2100 pages. Getting it bound and fuck I cant breathe just thinking about it. I could try to avoid such a situation but knowing me I mostly likely cannot. Oh well..as long as I pass this freaking task. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do. Through this all I have learned one thing about myself...I cannot handle stress. My way of responding to stress and work load is sleeping..not coz im sleepy but because I try to escape reality by avoiding work. Also coz im shit lazy as fuck and no amount of me shouting retardedly to myself , " NO MORE OF THIS LAZY ACT"...It doesnt work at all. I have lost track of what im writing. I need sme sleep...not beor eI have a breakdown but before my laptp crashes coz its been thru alot of file load today. more later. Oh I statred this post with a hello..as in a ltetter style..coz I wanted to say hello to u guys coz its been so long. Not much news from ur side eitjer but im updating me.
night.
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