4 9 za...???

Does anyone else remember that bryan adams song that used to flood music channels day in day out in early 2001-2002..?? On a day like today...that was the name of the song and it had this little mind game in the video. Well I tried it today .. after alll these years...and i got a tiger!!! Dammit a tiger was supposed to walk past the screen ..not an -------- like it does in the video!! After much thought on it I realized its got sumthing to do with my bad multiplication skills. I cant multiply 4x9!! It really sends me into a complete contemplative sort of frenzy!! I really cant do it...u know that trick where you add 4 to the 4x8 figure and get the answer for 4X9? Tried that as well. Couldnt get it right yet again!!!Ofcourse Im doing this all mentally. Its something of great concern to me now...with my relaince on cell phone calculators etc...I've lost practice and the habit of actually using my brain for simple calculations! And I think thats dulling my brain cells to an extent. Thank heavens I haven't got to the point whr I reach out for a calculator for 2+2...
So the game goes like this...
1. Think of any number between 2 and 9 ( i chose 4 )
2. Multiply that number by 9..( this is whr it got me and i was so sure 4x9=28 !!)
3. Its a two digit number..add them up( 2+8=10)
4. Subtract 5 from it. ( ...5)
5. Think of a country with that letter. ( thot of ..yo check it..ETHIOPIA!) hehe
6. Take the second letter from the country name ( T..)
7.Think of an animal beginning with that letter..( Tiger duh..)
and just then..guess what walks by the screen in the video??
Well...if u havent done this already and dont know the answer ...oh its good..gta check it out for yourself.

Meanwhile, Im gna go practice my 4 times table and get that damn answer to 4x9!!
4x1=4
4x2=8
4x3=12
4x4=16
4x5=20
4x6=24
4x7=28
4x8=28+4=32
4x9=32+4=36!!!!!! 4x9= 36!!yay!!!
Maybe I don't know whole of the 4 times multiplication table but atleast i know the tune of it by heart!( works only with indo no education system i guess... or maybe it was just my town's school system!?Lovely melody that!

Why am i not studying??

A friend( name withdrawn) earlier mentioned of increased horniness and how a monday morning business meeting turned into a sexually explicit moving picture in her mind. That got me thinking to the point where if someone were to mention a banana I was done for. Bad timing I would say, with my exams n all.

But my cost benefit analysis reading never seemed so interesting. Lets look at all the reasons why cost benefit is important to us:
a) because it is consistent with indivisuals' preferences
b) permits determination of 'absolute' desirability. oooo hmmm
c)explicit treatment of risk...feeling wild n frisky? lets do it the cost benefit style baby!
I obviously conviniently omitted other lines dealing with not so imp. stuff like policies and economic efficieny..although...hmmm..never mind.

More lines from my paper: ...There is therefore no one "right" TECHNIQUE. Those who think individuals matter, "right" or "wrong", will tend towards a cost benefit style approach. But 'techniques' or *cough* 'process' is not sufficent. Processes have to be informed by some ordering of facts. Anther way of thinking is that process does not guarentee rationality of decisions. Equally, decisions cannot be made without effective process, not least beacause those excluded from the process may 'block' a decision or make its implementation difficult. AND no matter what you decide there is ALWAYS an 'opportunity cost'...'what could have been'...'a forgone benefit'!!

Then, there are steps in Impact Assessment: Project XXX.

1. 'PROJECT' screeing ....who's hot who's not...u know.
2. Consideration of alternatives
3. prediction of impacts..hmmm.
4. implementation..ooo yes!
5. review
6. post decision monitering- to assess the ex post effect
7. post project audit- comparision of actual outcomes with predicted outcomes to access the quality of the "project".

PS- Not every one will interpret this the way I do ..so for those of you ...hope this is an educational trip!haha


On the other side there is Sustainable consumptions...a topic for the wretched exam...
Consumption is already seen as a tool in sexual comeptiton. Evolutionary psychology's arguments on sexual selection suggest that at least 'conspicious' consumer behaviors occupy the role of sexual display. That is, they advertise availability, fertility, potency, fidelity, and a variety of other characteristics desireable to the oppsodite sex ( Journal of Industrial Ecology, Vol. 9, 2005). Now think about the real reason behind that new sexy top, your choice of fragrance, your new porche...feeling like a tomcat on the prowl yet?

Reading this second piece actually makes me feel like my dear friend and I are not the only ones harnessing sexual thoughts at inappropriate times- be it a business meeting or a study group! "I'm not a really sexual person". athankeuu!:)
I have my moments but not like a craazy sex maniac noo. So Im sweeping this current horny phase under the rug by blaming exam week and my friend!! When ur bored and tired of studying ...You gada du whachu gada du !:) Dammit I really need to study. bye now.

so this is christmas and what have you done?

No matter what ...theres magic in christmas time!! It might imply heartaches and longing like mentioned in my earlier blogs sumwhr but the sheer spirit in the air around this time of the year is just absolutely lovely and too beautiful to pretend like you dont give a shit. It was the nastiest scottish weather today..winds, rain, and the cold. Spent the entire morning discussing cost benefits, project cycles and shadow pricing in prep for the exam next thursday. Later went out in that bloody weather to St. Giles Cathedral. Exquisite architecture and ancient 16th century feel to it. Nat was singing in the choir and they did a brilliant job with all -time fav christmas hyms which sounded even more divine in that cathedral. At one point, I cried. hehe im such a sucker for peace n love on earth n shit.
There was a carol service in another place and it was a sing along this time! I so wanted to go but we got there and people were standing in the doorway coz it was so full . Couldn't deal with the cold so went to a cafe across the street and had a shot of extra strong machiatto (never again!) Over to Myles court thereafter whr thr was some hot mulled wine and mincemeat pies waiting. Just the thing to warm yourself in that frightful weather outside and to bring on the festive mood I do do love.:) Spend time belting out all the xmas favs like 'frosty the snowman' and 'winter wonderland' by the fireplace..with no fire sadly! Grand finale was ofcourse the excellent 'do they know its christmas time at all' by Band Aid( Various aritists)..just brilliant! We were trying to recognize voices. I only managed bono and sting...but sum of these guys were good...I mean who the hell knows what Boy George really sounds like?! apparently sum ppl actually do!! anyway...was good fun. Back to project appriasal now! But Santa's coming soon baby so is all goooood !! hohoho:)

Me own christmas collection this year ( atleast those on top of the list of sum 50+ songs) :

FAiry tale of New York- Pogues
Frosty the snowman
Winter wonderland- diff. version.. all good.
Let it snow- Bing Crosby version
Happy christmas( war is over)- John lennon/yoko ono
Do they know its christmas time at all- Band Aid
White Christmas- Bing Crosby
Do you hear what I hear?
Silent Night
All is want for christmas is you- mariah carey
All I want for christmas is a hippopotamus- Shirley Temple
I saw mommy kissing santa clause...oh and theres just tooo many! Lordy! Im christmas crazy! hoho...nothing to worry though..there are many of us out there and YOU know who you are:) tingle-lingle-ling!!

haha. and by the way now...where'd all the good ppl go? i ain't one for sure.

To the men who make living a little easier

What happens when you put two artistically talented men( who can give you an appetite for good soul music) in a room together?
People who think they're gay for each other should get real coz what you really get is the deliciously soothing and aptly called 'Lullaby'!! Matt costa has amazing vocals and jack johnson on the ukulele is well ...JACK JOHNSON!( I just need Wentworth just hanging out in the background somewhere and it'll officially be the hottest sausagefest in there!) And the lyrics are out of this world yet so close to the heart.

"When you're so lonely lying in bed
Night's closed it's eyes but you can't rest your head
Everyone's sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself.."

Its dreamy and lilting. Absolutely love it. These are men worth admiring right here!
Other good ones by Matt Costa are "sunshine" and "cold december" . nice video for sunshine.
Singing a lullaby... to yourself can be by far, the single most saddest thing in the world. But if these gods of music tell to do so...hell I don't mind. I will sing myself to sleep, I will stroke my head, disappear into my pillow. I will pat my own back and I'll hope to dream. After all thats the reason why we power through each day don't we? To dream the sweetest, most beautiful dreams at night? I think it makes living a whole lot easier. Disagree?? Well I seem to do that alot. Daytime may be vibrant, fun, stressful, noisy and chaotic. Come darkness and the world seems to stop. Thats when we can grow tiny wings( hell u dont even need them wings!) and fly to the moon and back ...just in time for the 9 am class or work the next morning.

prick of a printer!

ok now its really getting painfully hilarious. on every submission deadline...every single time I have a story to tell. The previous ones were frightful, trying to make it on time, trying not to be so damn disorganised...but today was different. Silmilar in a lot of ways but not quite the same either. I thought it was going fine. I had put in alot of hours of hard work into my paper and was quite satisfied with the outcome. Until i had to print it out. Dear god. After 5 tries....the damn thing just wouldn't print!! It was now 11:50 and the deadline was at 12:00. Feeling fucked in the face, I ran around campus looking for a colour printer..found one ...and yet again it wouldn't print. After 2 tries I look around and see a little neglected scrap piece of paper that says: "Out of Order". At 12:05, I ran to the submission office and told Rosie( secretary) of my problem. She was kind enough to print it out for me from her office. That. or she took pity on my hyper panicked soul. So anyway, the brilliant colour print out looked lovely and I was proud of those 15 pages of hard work. I was just about to smile a little satisfied.."phew its done" smile when KHAchack! ......... OOPS! I stapled the document with those staplers for realy thick 500 paged documents. So what I had now before me, were long sharp pins jutting out the topleft hand side of my beautiful front cover. Ruined! So I painfully struggled to get the thing out..hurt myself, poked myself, bled and finally..it was out. It was 12:24 by now....and Rosie look on amused as I fought with that pin in her office. But the big ugly holes glaring at me was so dissappointing-like an irreversible scar on something so beautiful. ugh. whatever. She said the professor wouldn't mind so I just handed it in and didnt look back. I came back home and felt so uneasy. I immediately emailed the prof. telling him of my grievences and those holes in the paper and begged him not to take into account the presentation of the document. Really hoping he doesn't. I am guessing the marking can range from a hopeful A-, a realistic B or a pessimistic B- for this paper ! Just gta wait n see now.

thanksgiving'06

oh feuck this new blogger. new gmail account. everything ith gmail account.
Just abck from thanksgiving party. yummy food. stuffed turkey and cranberry sauce....pumkin pie, apple pie..mashed potatoes...bread and hummus..oak smoked cheese and blah blah blah herb cheese. and autumn leaves smoked wine!!!! i got drunk . haha
this thanksgiving i am thankful for friends. Im thankfull for went worth miller and im thankful im alive.

MILLER, Wentworth. He walks in beauty!

What is it about Wentworth Miller III that is so bloody appealing? Is it the name? That beautiful face? His subtle sexy charm? His angelic voice? To me, its all of this and more. He's definately got what it takes to be a star and (touchwood), doesn't look like it's got to him yet either. Actually I wouldn't mind if a wee bit of stardust starts to run through his veins- maybe then, he could be quite a Hollywood's Bad Boy. But he's heaven sent as of now. And I'm totally fine with that!~
Excuse me while I talk more about his face. Good God, have mercy!! It is just annoyingly perfect..even the tiny imperfections in it are perfect! In his eyes( which are of slightly different colours-one green, the other hazel), I see Heaven..not joking,I swear!! That warm brown coloured mole on his left temple is quite the silent killer. His lips...soft and full. His sculptured jawline- clean shaven or with a stubble,its sex...I mean sexy, especially when clenched. Just kills me Every. Single. Time. He is Hotness personified, the embodiment of beauty. I adore him to bits cz its because of him I find myself coming up with these abominably cheesy lines. I grow all warm inside and when I see that face of his, I just HAVE to smile, even if I've just had my worst day/night ever. He's got me whole alright. And I'm just a mindless, bloody love fool for him.


Moving on to His tears!! A few people who've known me for a while now, have often told me I have a sadistic streak in me. I've always refuted that claim. But when it comes to watching Beautiful Went cry...I'm reduced to pulp, while my sadistic vein throbs somewhere. OK I admit. I watch prison break just so I can see him cry, among other things. He's a bit tight on them. His tears I mean. He probably sheds a single, clear tear every now and then.Its runs down his cheek and suddenly nothing is right in this world. Aaaaah! do I feel his hurt. And it breaks my heart. He still needs to cry me a river though. Call it a fan request!



Enough about the pain, he takes the crown for that. What about when he laughs( quite rare) or smiles at the least?? Right there!! Thats Perfection. Bliss. A glimmer of hope shines forth and suddenly this world is a better place to be in. It's all in that one smile of Went!!One thing I don't particularly like about his acting skill is when he does a scene where he needs to get really really angry or has to shout. It seems like its just not in his nature and almost seems forced on-screen. Thats the time I can't help but laugh. Baby do no good with crazy but me still crazy over good baby:) Hmmm...after all, looks like I do adore his angry stints as well. Everything the man does I tell ya...! So, the mans not a screamer...but if looks could kill...!! He does have this VERY INTENSE(Intaaanse) look sometimes, those eyes that narrow in deep thought,slight crease on the forehead and oh hell! mercy! not that JAW CLENCH again!! Well, thats when I get really hot.
It's about midnight now, I have a mock exam paper in International Development tomorrow and just who will read the Third IPCC report for me?? Oh sod it!!




"That was a quarter of an hour well spent,
I'm a-comin' dear Went,
Coz only you can make it right,
I'll meet you in my dreams tonight!" ~..mmmmMuah!~

Prison break? FOX shudve known better and called the show HEART break on two feet. with umm 8 toes!:)

GOOD LORD!! Is Micheal Scoffield hot or HOT!! Yup...sure feels like im 16 all over again, falling madly in love with a starry eyed boy on TV . Wentworth Miller, the actor who plays Micheal's character is not all that impressive at all, atleast from what I gather from a few of his interviews. He might have a handful of expressions in every episode but oooooo boy they are just about enough to make a gal's heart melt into mush!! Three days!! Thats all it took for me to sit and finish 22 episodes of season 1 and 11 of season 2...Now I have to wait until the next epi is aired and that sucks!
Sigh!! If I wasn't already done with my younger days, my sillier ways..i'd say 'Im in love!':)

there is always tomorrow, but only in theory!

Those of you who've read the lengthy crib about my late submission know whats on my mind today. A bad day always makes you think about your life in the bigger picture. thats just what i did and it didnt quite leave me better off from whr i started. My biggest concern right now is my utter failure at good time management. For the first time in my life, I feel like Im doing sumthing for a purpose. that is postgraduate to me.Ive always been the average student and my parents have never pushed me for better grades..bless them for that!The reason i give for being average is my I-don'-really-care attitude.But I'd always known I could do better if i wanted to. High school was a joke, undergrad was fun n easy cruisin, but post grad, as i discover every single day is the raw deal and I want to do good. I find myself again,for the first time, actually worrying about grades and the contents of my study and how it will help me in my career.Thats a good start one might think. and it is. But the scary bit is that now that im trying to do well, things aren't quite working out the way it should. So my fallback factor and comfort of "I can do better if i really want to" has turned into shaky grounds.I am doubting my own capability and that sucks.
I cannot, at this point, seem to manage my weekly readings let alone all the extra readings that is neseccary for my course.I probably feel the need to do really well coz of all money it took to get me here! Everytime I call home for money, dad gets a new wrinkle. Its not comforting to think I'd waste it all and nothing substantial would come out of it.That's a thought enough to fuel nightmares for a month.
But then again, I still think I'm really not trying hard enough. Is that what all incapable people say for a peace of mind?? I really should not start branding self as incapable. Not exactly the best confidence booster around. But i will try harder...stop being such a lazy pig, and get my act together. Post grad?? Sure. Research and 9 to 5's jobs?? Why not!! Bring it on. I feel better already.

My scariest halloween ever!!

NEVER party the night before a major deadline!!You think you can manage but you WON'T!! I should've known this right from the start...its common sense after all, isnt it? but noooo....Ms sunshine wants to risk it and the 'it' being 50% worth of coursework( the remaining 50 assigned for an essaytype exam in which i get screwed anyway). And now Im sleepy, hungry,hungover, pissed at self for being dumb enough to go for that party last night.
But it was halloweens and even though YEVERYBODY was going to mylens court for the party ..all dressed up as wicthes n fairies...I initially got my act together and decided I couldn't afford to go.I stuck wit my decision until my flatmate went out with her big hat and broom stick. But sitting in my room with the 4000 words to go in front of me was no comfort. My mind had taken off with that damned broomstick. But I still persevere and shake any distraction off my head and try to type sumthing. Second attempt and it just didnt look like it would or COULD happen. Then the devil on my left shoulder appears and before i let the good one pop up, I get dressed in black,skirt,fishnets and a glitter cat-ears hairband( which i bought, you know JUST in case.)and Viola!ready for halloween! But I still decided not to go to the party,just wanted to get dressed n go out. promised self wud get bck home by 10. I went to the pagan parade on princes street.Lots of people, TALL people...I killed my toes trying to see what was happening on stage.Could see bits of things..fire dancers,stunts,loose haired, pagan dancing, wild drum beats, haunting songs...from the little I could see, it was quite cool. Even better were the crowd all dressed up like crazy. Its cold so I buy Vodka. I start drinking shots frm the bottle while the chinese girls i'd gone with are eyeing me,scandalized.Just when Im about to head back home..."Brigit?? hi brigit!YOU were in front of me all the while, blocking my view?? Who are you here wi...oooh hie Tim. David! nae!... how come you guys are all here and what happaned to the party??" Next thing I know, Im at the party, with an empty bottle of vodka and empty bottle of wine,sandwiched betwn a dracula and a history student!( a guy actually doing phd in history,not sumone trying to be funny). I called Andre fr sum reason and dont remember our conversation.something abt designing water tanks?? I was so wasted, came home in a taxi, ate the saltiest maggi ever with mushroom n bacon, made a mess of the kitchen, set my alarm at 4:30 am,slept, got up to recheck set alarm, slept, rechecked again, dropped phone, rechecked,dropped sumthing else i still havent figured out and finally slept agn only to wake up to the alarm 2 hours later!! Nightmare!!
So Ive been up since then.Read my assignment AFTER submitting and its full of SHITE!The bit i wrote when hungover is probably a wee bit off topic as well. No tables, no data..one hell of a dry report.With bad english. FUCK.

Submission blues:

DEadline: 12 noon.
11:10 and im still typing my executive summary!! type tyepe tyue, type, tpe.
I try to submit online and the damn web ct wont open.
11:59 I run to microlabs, and the printers are all busy! THere is always someone printing 100 pages when ur in a hurry to use the printer. Is that there in murphey's law??
12:45 finally submitted my assignment...now im just hoping it will be accepted, let alone wish I'd written a better one or not gone to the damn halloween party at all. Fuck.

You're damn right I don't feel like dancing .

More Scissor Sisters lyrics and videoclips on Lyricspy


THE SONG: 'I don't feel like dancing'- Scissor Sisters.

THE RANT: Every single time on a night out, I cannot seem to get away from listening to this CHEESE!!EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Be it in a corner pub or a flashy Club. I hate the indi scene here which is not at all indian music as i thot it was, but just some kind of rock. I hate that there are so many genres in music and you got to hit certain clubs accordingly. Whats the deal with that?? I don't need an added headache of deciding places to go get wild, according to the bloody million genres of shit they have out there!!For me there is good music and then theres bad music. fuck the genres. Good old CB..the one and only.. actually had the best mix to think of it...ever. Hiphop with the occasional crowd thumping surprises like oasis, pulp fiction or punjabi mc...and even if it was repeated almost every single saturday night of the year for four years..it was still alright. It rightly fed the passive dancing bodies leaving little or no room for complains. The music didn't want to make you rip your hair apart atleast!! But this song...and other music played here in some of the clubs.Its...sickeningly heart breaking. In all fairness, there are a few good places. But who the hell are arctic monkeys? And cold play... in a club??GET REAL.
The only time I've had fun with this particular song is after alooot of drinking when you can't hear the music any longer anyway.
So watch, listen and learn. I really cannot be blamed if 'I don't feel like dancing no sir, no dancing today' ..to this shit for sure! Just gets on my nerves!Phew. Wish me luck for next weekend.

Love me, Love my shoes!

I STILL havent got my laptop yet!!!:( !$%^ the laptop actually ...I don't even have a bloody bank account yet nor a mobile! Pretty shitty huh?!! But I'm really trying not to miss them too much and think about how simple things were when I wasn't so used to such things in life. But then again..there are those other times-when it's impossible to roll out of bed without that certain song to start your day with or having to spend hours in the oh so quiet computer labs.... and then suddenly you're thinking- to hell with simple living!
2nd week of my post grads and coursework has gained a ridiculously... sonic momentum. Head on collision happening with the different courses and their assignments and readings. Guess thats what a bloody Msc is all about. humph! But ..I can't really complain..I signed up for this and it's just the 2nd week for !"£$ sake! BREaTHE. BREATHE....
RRight then...moving on. To a more chilled out note. One good thing: I've not been "forgetting" to have a good time amidst all this work ! So who cares if its a wednesday night and I have a 9 am lecture the next day? Sure as hell not ME!
It was a movie on tuesday night- Talladega Nights:the legend of Ricky Bobby- starring Will Ferrel of Mugatu fame in Zoolander.Was idiotically hilarious and Ali G is just beyond description! Had some minor problem with sound in the middle of the movie so they gave us free tickets to any other show next week ! :)
Now wednesday night..that was fun. A bunch of us from my programme met up in Sandy Bells Pub playing Live scottish music which just makes you want to jump around and do a Celidh. A couple of pints later, the place seemed too small and too noisy for the now "Merry" us so we decided to go for this other thing ..a university night in a club called IGNITE*. CAVANDISH, starring the Sun bloc girls!!Hmmmmm. Made me want to squirm at the thought of going to watch hot blonde WOMEN in swimsuits, dirty dancing to the Baywatch song club remix( which incidentally was quite nice actually) So anyway, we eventually get there and there 's a queue for about 2 blocks up the road AND we are not on the guest list!!boo hooo.. anyhu, it was just about midnight so we stood in line for about an hour( I kid you not!) , moving an inch in every excrutiatingly long two minutes and finally we got to the door! Inside it was just pure chaos! Just too many people, so guess what!!?yup..another easy 30 minutes wait at the bar to get A drink and finally we were ready to hit the floor! The sun bloc girls as I would've imagined were ....a sad sad lot...other than a few horny men enjoying watching them dance on stage, I thought the rest of the crowd was going to boo them off stage at any minute ! That sadly didn't happen but fortunately for me and other like-minded folks who just wanted to dance...there was a separate floor upstairs playing 60's, 80's retro and other glorious dance mixes!!!! Danced like a mad woman with great balls of fire on her heels..starring my new GREEN retro shoes!( sorry, just HAD to put that in!). So lets not get into how my 9 am class went this morning! :)

Viva la Escocia!

It just had to happen to me!! First two nights in a flat full of chinese boys in a strange new city! Of the hundreds of thousands of new students accommodations deal with, they had to hand ME the wrong key to my flat! Anyway, the boys.... were a sweet sweet bunch who actually got quite sad I had to leave and was ready to help me shift flats again. So now I'm in the flat I was originally supposed to be in. Yea..an all girls flat I'm afraid. Still got to make that long due trip to IKEA coz the room looks too damn dull at the moment... needs some colour, a mirror and ..hmm..other interesting junk while I'm at it . My flatmates are all really nice (so far atleast haha) and they sure do cook alot..which is kind of a good thing coz in their company I've made quite a few meals myself. :)

The two day fieldtrip to Northern Scotland( Glenlivet Estate) was FUN. About 21 of us from the Msc course, spent two nights in a small quaint town of Tomintoul. Got really good 3 course meals ..ofcourse all of this for free! Got to love Simon, my programme director..such a nice person. So in those two days..lets see..visited farms, national parks, talks by park rangers about course related stuff, an ecovillage, walked for miles uphill in rain and sludge to see trees being sawed off(!), fed reindeers under that same bloody pouring rain...well atleast the rest of them did anyway. I was just pissed I had to be standing cold and soaking wet in a farm surrounded by a herd of &**%^ reindeers! Really sympathetic beings though.
They say you haven't seen Scotland if you haven't been to a Whiskey Distillery. So we did the rounds there as well. Had free tasting of an 18 year old single malt which wud have probably cost me an arm and a leg. I know now, for sure, that I am no whiskey lover. A pint of beer....hmm..now thats something else.Tried the local brewery's beer and ofcourse some gorgeous black guiness. Add to that a shot of amarretto and I was in my happy place! Came back to the city on f riday and headed straight for the Celidh( Scottish dancing)..amazing ..had an awsome time there getting thrown around my men in kilts!:) Later went to this 3 storey club called Espionage....missed the good old Cool Bananas like hell!!
Spent the weekend walking around the royal mile n high street. The good thing about this city is how you keep bumping into someone you know ...so met david n leo from my course n went to a pub called the last drop. Apparently this place was whr prisioners came for their last pint before they got hung in the gallows which is just outside in the square. Another reason why it isn't hard to fall in love with Edinburgh- all that history!!
Had my first lecture for my course today..it went well so im happy about that and looking forward to all the long sleepless nights studying in the Library..haha. ganbarenakya....
Would really want to strike a balance between having fun n course work. Some ppl manage it so well. Edinburgh's music scene is also too good to pass so will be hopefully going to atleast 1 live gig every once in a while. BTW, talking about music..hehe..met this 17 yr old kid during the fieldtrip..a wanna be rocker..sort of mixed up with all the smoking and doped out look plus the hanson brothers hair style and still breaking voice. Apparently he has a "rock band" and plays some nights in venues around the city. He even gave me his record which I must say is seriously deranged and mental! Oh and their band is called DED Rabbits( like LED zeppelin) The most hilarious bit was the fact that he was telling me about all his head banging rock band and hard core habits when the clock strikes 10 and he asks me for a mobile so that he cud call his dad to come pick him up from the pub! Priceless!

In scotland.

It's been a while...hell..more than a while..its been a little more than a month since I last blogged! So what have I been upto since? Lets see...there was the sayonara party in Japan, the depressing flight back home to India, a great ten days or so at home with mumn n dad and now...I'm in Scotland, ready to start school again in Endiburgh. With relatives at the moment in the countryside in Glasgow..simple beautiful out here. Drove around the Clover highlands and Lunan bay overlooking the cold North sea yesterday. Lovely weather too...had been expecting shitty wet weather but ever since I've come..we've been blessed with warm sunny days. Will take a while to get used to the accent with which people speak english here. Glenn's friend is driving me to my uni today. Sort of have mixed feelings about that....going to the uni! Im excited yet a bit scard. I guess we all can get that way when we're about to start something new in a new country. A slight nagging anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Other than that..it's been really nice so far. More later.

sex museum

Made it to the sex museum! Finally. You haven't seen Japan if you miss out on the sex museums...thats what the websites n brochures say atleast. It was two floors of air conditioned haven...considering the 40 degrees of july heat outside. Inside..despite the cool air...things were hot!! Needless to say why ofcourse. So we saw them all dicks, dicks and more dicks... of all shapes n sizes. The humungus whale penis, the twisted one of a pig, chimpanzes, lions(disappointed), dogs, cows, zebra's, giraffes... what have you!! Then a myriad of Phallus Gods from different cultures around the world, the bizzare "penis case" of Papua New Guniea(can't look at the png boys frm school the same way now), the hindu mythological gods in full sexual glory, a chick atop the meditating Buddha, a million different sex positions potrayed in various forms of sculpture and art, bondage stuff, Slave and master, the seven dwarfs fucking a happy slutty snow white (this was way cute!) ekcetera...
We even sat through a japanese porno flick in the mini theatre there. At first it was just us 4 girls, taking the back seat..legs rested high..relaxed andn enjoying....then a few men walked in and ruined it!!...or maybe we ruined it for them with our giggling like a bunch of high school girls and our sound effects imitating japanese orgasms. As for the men, they were dead serious, watching with sick desperation printed in bold on their faces.
The second floor..yup..more penis! A few boobs here n there. But mostly penises! Penis penis everywhere but not a ...erm... there in the limelight..made of rubber, exquisitely carved wood or plastic. I rode a rodeo bull machine...peeked through holes in the toilet stall...and in the end of it all...the souviner shops...stood calling..ready to rip us off! We didnt give in although the penis lollipop in kinky pink wud've been one hell of a good suck!
Went to the Jigoku's* lit. hells* or natural hot springs next. Apparently all closes at 5 pm and it was past 5, so we casually walked in anyway, which was a good thing- even if it meant seeing less of whats really there to see- coz this way its for free! Here's how you do it..so if the place closes at 5..make it at around 5:15 ish...the main reception is closed and no one's there but you can still enter the premises provived the gate is not bolted shut*only in few cases*. The staff is usually enagaged in cleaning at this time and because of the dense white smoke and the sounds from the gurgling boiling hot spring, you can walk past them unnoticed!! So we walked in on two places that way, cooly strolling past a cleaning staff's back, checking out the beautiful 90 degree natural geysers, a hippopataumus beating the heat, peacocks, etc. The cleaning guy caught us on our way back and the poor thing was surprised how we got in at all!! He was about to charge us the entrance fee but we gave the 'confused and lost tourist' performance and escaped that ordeal. It was a hot sticky summer day, was alright...but now am back home realy really tired ...and have to do sum major packing coz tomorrow its impossible! Got work at the restuarant in the morning tomorrow and later at night the summer festival n fireworks on the beach.
Day after...its bye bye house!!:( Leaving my one-room hilton paradise for crammed spaces at a friends place. Will be sharing with 4 other ppl..my home for August!! After which i got no real address...altho its probably gna be sumwhr in the misty mosty scottish highlands.. going with the flow...bye bye japan. hel-lloo men in skirts!!;)

Fanaa-destroyed in love

"Tere dil mein meri saason ko panah mil jaye , tere ishq mein meri jaan fanna ho jaye...."

"Rone de aaj humko do aakhen sojane de, baahon mein le le , aur khud ko bhi jaane de. Hai jo seene mein kaid dariya woh chot jayega, hai itna dard ke tera daman bheeg jayega...."

"Adhuri Saans thi dhadkan adhuri thi adhure hum,Magar ab chand pura hai fhalak pe aur ab pure hain hum.

flashback

So we're chilling late at night in the awesome beach guest house(dont look at the high rise, its the small shacks in the front) and after one too many Okinawa aowamori sake's with fake cola, Ryota,this guy who drove us around the island earlier, asks me if he can use my legs as a hiza makura. I didn' t really understand but I do know what a makura(=pillow) is and the way his eyes were fixed on my bare legs, i could guess what he meant. I obviously diverted his attention away from my legs and made some lame joke out of it and got out of the situation.. That was then...3 days ago.
Now I come back from my holiday and am back at what I do best when i'm home i.e surfing the WWW, the geek that i be. I came across this hiza makura concept in some japan site and nearly fell out of my chair!!I had forgotten about it but just reading the word ..I remembered it and it came back all too well. I finally get it!

So the deal with this Hiza makura is that there is apparently a bit of culture behind it. In Japan, men and women, seem to have this thing about laying their heads on their mothers knees and having their ears cleaned with a Q-Tip. So that feeling of lying your head on your mothers', or girlfriends' lap is apparently really really desireable for males as they get older. Weird?? Read on...


As things go in Japan, everything needs to be made ready-to-use for the ever willing consumers.Hiza makura bearing no exception to this rule. This product consists of the lower half of a woman in a skirt, sitting in the seiza position, and is made out of some ultra skin like material!! BBC even had an news story about it way back in 2004! Apparently it was all sold out!! each for about $90! NB* Do not miss the guy's face in the article. What a creep!*


So then, thats the story about my very own hiza makura incident!! Although , I would still like to think of Ryota as the cool local guy with that hot tan, instead of a 38 yr old, single, creep! He was hilarious!

homecoming of the confused soul!

Back from za holiday. was nice and the place was just so beautiful. met some amazing chilled out folks 0n the island.Not trying to consider my superb gift of short term memory but one may forget people over time..how they looked like (no matter how hot the bod or immaculate the tan!) or something funny they might have said but one can seldom forget the way they made you feel. Ok thats a distorted version of a beautiful quote i had read sumtime back. but it makes the same point. Those people at the island..made me feel like ....the last thing i was ...was a clueless tourist doing rounds of money extorting lame touristy places. They all made me feel like I was in someplace i cud call home coz after all an ideal vacation wud be to go places in search of bliss and fun- off the normal beaten track...not in search for lets say, an exotic bird sitting in a caged and simulated tropics. So that one day at Nago, among people with big hearts and bigger smiles, was truly my blue sky holiday. As opposed to that, Naha the capital reminded me too much of what i'd happily left behind. was still alright tho.

almost almost got a decent tan. thought i'd left a piece of me on the island...whatever it was soul ,heart, head or toe..its come running back to mamma! :) and italy won!eyaiyay..so is all cool for now. got a shit load of more time at hand to chill..sadly it's gta be wasted in this shithole of a place . i guess once again my frequent posting starts. will really try n resist the oh so tempting urge. it might be the hardest thing ive had to tackle so far!

I really wish i cud be in a different time and a different place at these restless times...its all about the weak yet smart choice of escaping or the being strong yet stupid choice of sticking around and dealing with what u clearly don't want. Fight or Flight!
Like jack johnson says..."i was sitting waiting wishing that u'd believe in superstitions then maybe u'd see the signs. lord knows that this life is cruel but i aint the lord no i'm just a fool..." If music be the language of souls...all of JJ's words are mine!

finally..the long due day to day journal on my trip to Okinawa.

When dreams turn to reality
Day 1: Reached Naha and took a monorail from the airport to the city centre. Walked out in what was the hottest the island had gotten since start of summer-35 degrees of humid heat and the sun burning my skin!Walked around trying to look for a cheap place to spend the night. We found a dormitory just above a liquer store in a ghetto like side of town. It was cheap alright and with it came dirty toilets, roaches and and an almost inhabitable square box for a dormitory with no fan! We decided to pay a little more and took the ac private rooms instead. It was a whle lot more decent and so we dumped our bags and got ready to start our holiday! the first place we hit was ofcourse..the beach. we took a taxi and haggled for a reasonable price (which goes on alot in okinawa by the way..so its way cool). We've got 2000 down to 800 yen even! The sight of the blue green sea dotted with swimmers and the warm sand with sunbathers and tanned lifeguards was sheer joy. While ass and cp didnt wait a minute longer to hit the water and the sand, adu n me went bikini shopping! an hour later...we got back to the beach and had a whole lot of fun in the sun. The locals were all so tanned, their skin tinted deep orange looked just heavenly. Ofcourse i couldnt expect to get that with a few hours of sunbathing! later when the sun had set and the beach got less crowded, we too headed off to a nearby pub and drank some cold beer and sang a few songs at the karaoke there. A perfect first day of vacation. Got back to the dormitory early and did some essential planning out for the next few days there in Okinawa- places to go, where to stay etc. A local girl from the dorm who spoke excellent english helped us out with that alot and by 3 am we had a plan. Those dreams we dreamt together..we were all realizing it, living it now.

Pacing life

Day 2: Left early for Nago on the North of the island. It was a two hour drive listening to unbearable italian opera ballads on the radio. Later we switched stations to an all american one..so what we got was a crazy american RJ, a few good songs and breathtaking sights along the highway by the sea. We finally reached Nago after what felt like ages and then began our hunt for the Nago guest house. The local girl who had helped us plan the trip had suggested this guest house for meeting 'wild fun' people. We did find the place after a good 45 minutes of asking around and getting lost and winding up in similar places again n again n again. The place looked like a shack which is what it really was. A bunch of shabby tiny wooden structures tightly scattered over a junkyard by the beach. Who would have known by the look of the place that it would be the very place where I had the most fun and memorable times while on vacation. The people were so laid back and chilled out. We were shown to our small room and given a tour of the place which took up barely 2 minutes(heres the kitchen, out back there are the showers and Done!) of our prime beach time. and then we hit the warm sand which was just 3 or 4 steps away from our room!! This beach was empty...not a soul ard other than the four of us ofcourse. And the view was just perfect..endless sea meeting the endless sky in the horizon somewhere very very far away. when it got too hot I sat with an okinawan beer on the hammocks back at the shack, the gentle n cool sea breeze brushin against my skin. Later we went kayaking which was a whole lot of fun. cp('nichan' at
Nago..hehe) n me on one, rowed our way far out to a rock.We headed back to the shore when it began to drizzle. It felt like cool ocean spray and was so refreshing. We had to walk quite a stretch of the beach dragging the kayak back to the shack. But then us being us..we dumped the thing in the middle of nowhere on the beach and the boys picked it up later in their jeep. Then I kicked around a football on the beach, spent a little more time by the waters and then we headed off for fruitsland and a few other places with Ryota and Chi , two amazingly tanned locals with big smiles and a bigger heart. We had got talking earlier and since we hadnt rented a car on the island, they decided to drive us around. What better than having a local showing us around the island? It was great, the ride on his van listening to jack johnson and taking in the island views was quite something. Fruitsland was sort of a drag. Lots of fruits, butterflies, brilliantly hued tropical birds and free tasting of cookies and cakes made from different kinds of fruits. After that was done, we didnt really have a 'to do 'thing on our list, so we asked Ryota to surprise us and take us places. He took us first to a nice okinawan restuarant as we were all so hungry. Ate a good meal, listening to the waterfall in the breezy open deck restuarant. Then he took us to a lookout point..sort of a cliff overlooking the sea below and miles n miles around.We spotted a tiny speck of an island far off and he decided to drive us there. Once we crossed the bridge to the other island everything was wild and natural, the maze of small unpaved dust roads leading down to the beach, with fields on either side, no people bustling about, no mcdonalds, no nothing. Just us in the car and nature at its best. The beach turned out to be a slice of heaven itself- small and secluded. It was truly beautiful. By now the sun was setting and we decided to watch the sun set off into the waters from another beach. Thats when our adventure started. Poor Ryota..despite being a local, he tried. and tried. and tried yet again, to get to that beach. but we just kept getting lost in those maze of small dust roads, which had fork pathways on every other turn. Finally after almost an hour of reversing and going round n round to find ourselves in the place where we started off, we just drove up on higher grounds and saw the remanents of the bright orange ball from the car. It was beautiful none the less. We also literally chased the rainbows while on our quest to reach the sun set. Saw them in full color and perfect arch, atleast about 5 different times. It was getting late by now so we headed back to the guest house, after collecting my cell phone along the road coz I'd left it in a tiny surf n fishing shop while asking for directions earlier in the day. Heck I didnt even miss it all that much..I was on a holiday for gods sake!:) Once home we all sat out on the deck, all the travellers in the guest house and the staff and we just chilled. Cold beer and aowamori okinawan sake, in the company of fun people. We talked, laughed and drank our way into the night. It was like one big family, a community of complete strangers. There were a few magical moments when we all shared comfortable silences just staring out at the moons reflection in the waters and the stars above the ocean. Nobody had a single care or worry in the world..atleast not then. not on this night. Ryota got the gang into more of the chill mode when he started struming his guitar and the shamisen( three stringed okinawa instrument). The sounds were heavenly. And he sang a few of my favourite songs including the japanese song nada sou sou, more than words and patience by GNR. Gotta love that guy, Ryota. He was so laid back and cool and funny as hell. He's a staff at the beach shack so he told us of hilarious and interesting incidents of the 'forever kissing' french couple and other travellers who stayed over at the guest house. Slept at 4 am that night with an excuse of waking up early the next morning...even though the now drunk Ryota, insisted I stay for the 5th "one last" drink!! But I did have to wake up early the next day as we were heading back down to Naha. It was a sad sayonara after uncertain promises of coming back again, I sure as hell wished to be able to have stayed a bit longer! The ride back to Naha was a silent one. I think each of us knew that that was a special time spent, memories of which will remain etched in our hearts for a long time to come.

Gradual Transition
Day 3: Back in the bustling capital, the previous day at Nago seemed like a distant and beautiful dream of pure shores. We stopped in Ryuku Mura-a traditional okinawa themed village on our way back to Naha. We caught a few performances there of Esa dance and Shamisen and saw Habu snakes as well . We checked into our hotel 'Sun Royal' and just dived into the plush beds coz we'd been sleeping on floors in the guest house and dorm. After a very 'fishy' lunch at the hotel's cafe resturant, we headed out to see the Shuri castle. The castle was so immaculate and rich with history and culture. Came back to the hotel and rested our tired feet a while then got ready for a saturday night out in town. We even bumped into a guy from the uni there , also on a holiday, with his girl. After checking out a few random shops along the kokusai doori(international shopping street), we looked around for good clubs. We found one and went in as the weather outside had started to get bad. A storm was due the next day!! So we danced in that club till the wee hours of the morning, took a taxi back to the hotel and slept like logs on our last night in Okinawa.

Back to Reality

Day 4: The next morning, we got a call from the hotel reception saying that we needed to check out at 11am! it was 11am and we were all in bed!! we hurried and took turns in the shower and packed our bags and left the room in the span of 30 minutes! We headed for the airport and browsed the shops there selling okinawa gifts and artifacts. Finally it was boarding time and we got on the flight back to home in Beppu! I slept throughout the one and a half hour flight as I was so tired from the previous night's clubbing. But those one and half hour of sleep was the most delicious sleep I've had for it was filled with dreams and memories of my 3 days in paradise!!

of offsides, postal fuck ups and sleep deprivation

Forget relationship and character analysis of determining whos from mars and who's from venus. The determining factor I think lies in one seemingly simple question, 'what is an offside'? You know you're from mars if you clear your throat and prepare to 'educate' the person with a 10 minute explanation or reach out for the nearest objects (salt n pepper shaker,beer cans,etc. ) to explain an offside. On the other side of the spectrum, you definately know you're from venus- no matter how much football you know-if yo
u use verbal abuse as a matter of fending off the question in the first place and then later get into a defense mode.
Example
Some twit: "So then, whats an offside?"
Venus: "What are you crazy, asking me that silly question? I mean, what the fuck? Do YOU know what the fuck it is? "
(Interpretation: ' Lets see.offside.hmm..happens alot during matches but I haven't the smallest clue!' )

As for me, its yet another breakthru evidence that I am undoubtedly from Venus (as if I had doubts haha). Well, I read up on it(offside for dummies)...so I now I won't be totally ignorant and therefore irritated at being asked the dreaded question. But I still can't seem to figure it out for sure. I mean the attacker can be in an offside position and still not be commiting an offside coz he's not interfering with the play? coz he's not active in play but oh ..just hanging out by the goal post? ugh. I quit. Atleast I know just about enough to understand and enjoy the game. Don't need to get into the gritty details. Thats what those refrees with flags are there for. Or maybe there's nothing to it! As in, am I trying to understand what I already know, thinking theres actually more to it! Well...we'll never know. :)
In other news:
Almost killed a post man today. Had slept at 6am after the match and at 12:56 the door bell rings frantically. I wake up and yell, "Fuck!~" and thomp my sleepy ass to the door. THOMP. THOMP. THOMP. THOMP.Blood boiling. forhead creasing. eyes narrowing. heart rate off the richter. So I opened the door and thrs this gay ass post man asking me if im somebody im not.Do I look Japanese?? I kept yelling What? What do u want? I scowled at that man and had a sudden surge of murderous instincts. I yanked the post out of his hands. Flapped it and slapped it on the door still yelling, "This is not me. Watashi jyanai...watashi JYAANNAII! " I handed him back the letter and slammed the door on his face. Came back to my bed thomping again and just when I thought I'd go back to sleep...my alarm went off at 13:00!! Bottomline: I haaate to be woken before my alarm goes off. Why do you think I set the alarm at that time anyway? SO I CAN WAKE UP BEFORE JUST TO WAIT AND HEAR IT GO OFF?? PHA....

girls of summer

back from Kuju. sure was a nice break. the farmhouse- practically in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, near the still smoking dormant volcano- was a verry chilled out place...a lovely bbq and a couple of beers with fun company was just was I needed to wile away my holdiay time inbetween the island vacation am gna be making soon. Sleeping in the attic was good fun as well:) Blessed with perfect weather in the middle of the rainy season was sheer luck. Too bad star gazing was not on the ..well..stars, coz the sky was still a bit overcast. But I did watch fireflies glow around the deep forest surrounding us and slept to the sounds of cricket chirrping and frogs doing what they do best. At one point, while sitting by myself out on the deck, strumming the guitar under the night sky, I was oblivious to every thing around me...everything except the gentle cool breeze (ok fine..a bit too chilly) and the sounds of the mid summer night. Sort of sick to see buildings and hurried people everywhere, now that im back in so called civilization and the sounds of cars on the highways is clearly turning out to be a nuisance .. a pain in the ear really. One night admist nature somewhere far from the maddening crowd, can make you more sensitive to the sounds and sights of what you live through every sinlgle day. funny that.
am wonderfully drowsy right now in this summer heat...think i'll take a catnap..Maybe dream a little about okinawan beaches and all the fun in the sun...

aeturnus eternus II: Elaine of Astolat

"..But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott? "

"...There she weaves by night and day-- She has heard a whisper say,A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot. "

"...And moving through a mirror clear--that hangs before her all the year, Shadows of the world appear."


"...From the bank and from the river-- He flashed into the crystal mirror,..by the river sang Sir Lancelot."

"...She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom, She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.

:..The mirror crack'd from side to side; "The curse is come upon me," cried The Lady of Shalott. "

"...Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right -- The leaves upon her falling light -- Thro' the noises of the night, She floated down to Camelot.."

"..she reached upon the tide, the first house by the waterside
Singing in her song she died, The lady of Shalott"

"...Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace, The Lady of Shalott."

*When they found her dead on the boat in Camelot, she had a letter for Lancelot in one hand and a bunch of lillies on the other.She died of heartbreak for she could never get Lancelot's love. Although!! the letter said that he pay for her funeral with his gold!! ..GO lily maid of astolat..the Lady of Shalott! That was ttly midIEVAL :)

aeturnus eternus I : Elaine of Astolat

(The White Knight,Walter Crane,1870)

"...The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot." - Tennyson, The Lady of Shallot.

If I could write songs like Kurt Cobain...

...they would go a bit like these!! ( excuse the time I have at hand!! just time and only time. fuck it )
NB: Sing along how u like it!! Any amatuer music composers reading this...write up a tab and contact me @ Thesis Aftermath productions, 8750925 ,JP !:)
Explicit content.

Song No.#1..lemme call this one ....
Open wound

Verse 1 :
Finding it hard to give a fuck
find it hard to care, what u say
I guess I have the attention deficit dis
Oh yea I’d like a whiskey now
Where was I ?
Beer tastes good
Astringent glory
I don’t care what you do
What u say what u feel
Who you have by your side
A flashy accessory,cheap
I don’t care about ur heartbreak on two feet
Yea those heels she’ll use em good
And u’ll be left there, gaping wide

V2:
Funny so funny turns and times
Its was me next is you
Have a happy life
A bad life I don’t give a fuck
Coz I love yellow water
Yea am doing my time in my head
In my high security high walled heart
Chained and free
See me ..
See me now
I walk away…yeaaaah

Interlude: No escaping till your’e gone
Mabe ur going when I’m gooone (x bunch of times)
Aaah..yeah yeah yeah aaaaaaaaaaah scream shout
When am I gone
When im gone
Im gone
For good
For good and gone ...repeat til fade:)


Underratted

Beautiful boy
Natural 9 to 9
U rock my world yea
U rock my world yea

I caught u ugly
So ugly
In my head
U rocked my world yea
U rocked my world yea

Blow up that balloon and hide your face in pink X 5



Guilt trip


The ride of ur life for free
Under age pay with tears
Maybe apologies
Over 21 ur free to go its for free yea
This guilt trip. Wild ride on the wild side
Sit back and enjoy
See the fleeting scenes out your window, your eye
Its not the destination but the journey
Guilt trippin wooaaooaa
Let me see who wooaoaaa
Be trippin tonight
woaaaaa yeaaaaa

TO the old woman living two doors down

Old woman
go slow
ur bent
go slow
ragged ann n andy,dusty dolls
priceless gifts
an angel in wrinkled skin
you are being watched and judged
nullifying ur misdeeds with this deed
your good. your quite alrite mrs. i dont know your name!
ooooweeewuuuu yea yea yea


Worry when its useless

Fucking piece of flaming shit
Its broken ..its broken
heres bad news
My only refuge
Broken and torn
Useless piece of burning piss
You ruled
Now ur just broken
So broken
And im in lack of a muse
bemused misused amused
But ur just useless ,abused
Like 10 in a team, t in the eam
Ur short of a string a melody a chord
fucking piece of shaped n polished wood!!
arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh x 5 (repeat till fade)
This last one is written for my guitar with a broken string!!

So there, thats it for now. theres more whr that came from but not suitable for public viewing.:)

PS-None of the above intends to riducule Kurt Cobain and his songs with Nirvana. He was an excellent musican in his own right, in the league of the greatest rockers to grace the stage. RIP.

when the old come out to play...

A sweet old lady gives you a doll!
What could possibly be so scary about that??? I'll tell you what is scary!
The first time this happened there were 3 old and ragged japanese dolls ,one with a twisted head. Months passed as I suspiciously eyed those dolls lying on the hallway. And then there was today, infact a moment ago! Just thought I need to blog this one fresh.

So its a rainy grey day, cold, dreary and gloomy with the ocassional thunderbolts n lightening to thrill. Our apartment door is wide open to let in some fresh air. I am making pasta on a typical lazy sunday evening when I hear the door bell. Before I cud pop my head out the kitchen to see who it is, right in walks the old lady with more old dolls lying lifeless and all collected on her apron. 'Shocked' is the only word I can think of right then. While I'm still managing to make indecipherable noises, she kneels herself down and starts arranging those dolls on the table..like properly arranging them so they all face one side in unison. I manage to retrive my voice and call out for aastha. She comes into the kitchen a while later, shocked to see an old lady doing things with ragged dusty dolls on our kitchen table. The old woman says that we make paper chits and decide among us three roomies who gets which doll... then walks out as hauntingly as she'd walked in.

Aastha n me were left staring at each other then the 13 or so dolls, then back to each other. I picked a doll and saw it was sort of in mourning or just dead as a ghost. The doll is dressed in black, death pale white face, large gaunt eyes, black long hair(think adams family). brrrrr...freaked me out,i tell ya!
Now it's just more number of dolls for me to suspiciously eye everytime I walk in and out the front door. Its just lying there coz I dont want to touch it or mess aroud with it. Later thinking of the possibilities, I ended up wondering if that sweet old strange woman was being paid by the goverment to tap conversations and bugged the doll to keep an eye out for "those gaijins". Nah, the possibility in that was zero to none. Maybe she is really lonely and just really sweet and wants to give us things..even if those are things lying undusted for decades on her mantle. It's so difficult to blindly trust people in todays world, its just so sad. I'll be sending a quiet prayer out for her...that old lonely woman who lives two doors down...

blues of the perfect life.

---everyone loves my life but me---

What did I say about the frequent unnecessary posts??? Not more than 10 minutes have ticked away(I can hear it) and I'm back ...It's 4:02 am and I can't seem to get any shut eye. Funny how I'm not alone in this. I can hear my roommate in the other room singing along with Phil Collins! "Oh think twice, its just another day for you and me in paradise. " HOLY!! It actually IS just a matter of the symbolic 'another day' for us in paradise. We are here today. We will go for one last holiday to an island in the sun. And then we go our separate ways. I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hair spray I use, the friends I have...I don't want this time in paradise to end!!
ooo now its " Billy -the son of a preacher man..." She sings mighty well that woman. :)
Right then. I really need to sleep before the privacy of my insanity is threatened by the limelight. Later days!
Shit! just remembered...have to get up early tomorrow and make chicken curry for lunch at a friend's. Will start counting sheep from ..NOW!

the restless mind at work again!

Is it ok to fancy someone when you have a five year age difference in between? Its a whole half decade of hit singles, trends, hairstyles, history, tv dramas , drug of choice and lingo apart! Five years don't seem that long. But give it a moment worth of thought and you realize in reality, it is. You're on a whole different level.
I watched him fall asleep. I watched him anxiously deal with that pimple (which appeared overnight) in the mirror the next morning. I watched him scribble rebellious writings on the classroom desk. I watched him laugh with his friends. With his young girl friends. I see young blushing love blooming into something beautiful and it makes my heart ache. I may just be feeling more of a maternal love towards him. I'm no pedophile nor a raving nympho. He's just adorable. Red lips.Hazel eyes. He loves his lips and isn't shy to say it but it's his eyes that hold my interest. Something deep in there, something I can't seem to decipher, something young and foolish, passionate and curious. But he's barely 17 and I'm not getting any younger. For the first time, I feel the previously un-thought about age factor creeping in. Before I know it..lo and behold..right there will be my first line of wrinkle!
I will let him be. I will gather my dignity acquired with age and time, forgotten in seconds. I will move on to my cup of tea. Meanwhile, living every single moment of this life. People tend to realize the importance of life and time, with near death experiences. I just realized the importance of mine while taking in the beauty of youthfulness.

OR .........This whole thing might just have been the slow, dangerous effects of boredom! That is actually more likely:). Boredom is a dangerous disease. It's contagious. It's destructful. It's discreet and it kills. So all ye fellow sufferers...i'll be seeing you in all the burning glory of hell---
It's au revior and not goodbye!(*o*)zzzz
PS- will be posting more often than neseccary. All I gotta do right now anyway is be a bum around town for the next month or so. haha. the good life?? think again!

typical ...its like i never knew football..other than the fact that 'der ball ist rund'. interest was gaining momentum during horrid thesis times and now that i'm done with the thesis ...im done with football too. can hardly make myself interested in who's playing who.wonder whats next for me. interest wise. am way too quick in losing interest in sumthing and once its gone...its goooone. bye bye tata see you horn ok.

It sure feels good not having anymore chapters to write n stuff to edit. Thesis submission went pretty smooth today contrary to the hectic scene i'd imagined in my head..running ard for sumthing to be done at the last minute!! nothing like that..like i said..went smooth. am happy. i think.

fussball

I'm wondering...does the england win(1-0) against paraguay justify the singng in the streets?? I'd say HELL NO! What was that?? Fuck! It was 90 minutes of not- so -awesome tackling and shot on goals, misses, a fluke OG, offsides...booring, d-r-a-g.
A win is a win no matter what and those 3 points do count. But their overall performance was not enough to convince me that this is the team that is so hyped up and out to play the WC finals. I bet alot of other fans lost their confidence after that opening match. I mean...One goal !! and that too an own goal headed in by the opponent into his own net. Classic! Gamarra must be banging his head in spite of what he did! So, basically the bottomline is: England should really gear up and put in more energy and creativity for a better performance in the next matches. And we all know the Brits are obsessed with the weather but they should not blame their shitty performance on 30 degress of german heat. Chances are they will be playing alot of matches in the mid afternoon sun. Go England!
The argentina:civ(2:1) match was definately better, although I didn't watch this one. So where was me at 4am JPT during the kick off and the following 90 mintues?? Glued to my PC screen "reading" the Live text of the match on BBC which refreshes automatically every 2 minutes. By the end of it, my eyes were sore, but the WC is gaining momentum and thats exciting. Now into the third day...the lineup couldn't get more thrilling.Will be watching Australia vs Japan next on monday.
"May the best team win".
PS- *Purrrfectto* timing for fussball fever... just when I have a WEEK to power type 30 pages for my paper!! Fcuk!

as your day fades into my night.

It started out as any other day...late in the afternoon, hungry, hot! I felt like I couldn't get out of bed without listening to a certain song from long ago. Never mind which song..it had its memories So lying in bed, I pulled my laptop closer and downloaded the song. A full 9 minutes wait later...the song filled the room with the right vibrations. Just what I needed to get myself out of bed on a monday morning..well afternoon. I got a bit of work done. Now about 40 pages through with the thesis due soon.
In the evening, I went out for a walk and brought back some groceries. Just the ingrediants for a perfect B.L.A.T. (Bacon.Lettuce.Avacado.Tomato sandwich). Later at night, I was home alone, so I took a chance on some 'me' time.Mood music and chilled beer. Everything was mellow and perfect.. and then..dotdotdot I received an email from this guy. Nobody important. The mail was from him, except, it was written by his girlfriend telling me to back off. Funny how things work. How... things go out there...out from the cradle of your mind, unintentional...only to come back to you all distorted.Twisted.
After that my night was pretty much fucked, or so I thought. It was tragically humorous.I didn't hold back from replying to that email at that very instant. I had a fun time writing the reply. After having done that, for the fun of it all.. I drank. Some more. No mellow mood, no enjoying the aroma of the wine now. I was drinking for the sole purpose of getting shitfaced and not beacuse of that silly mail alone. Wierd how all your annoying little grieveinces come back to you so easy when anger strikes. (it was sad to see the girl so insecure and horrified of someone who has no real interest in her man...but I was still pissed). After going through a bottle of wine and a couple of beers, I was hoping for some salvation. Temporary salvation of the mind. But I was deprived of even that! It just wasn't enough. I found an old bottle of gin lying in my room, standing alone in it's attractive bottle,half drunk... calling out. Meanwhile, the songs played into each other...I couldn't tell one from the other any longer. Was this my salvation? Was this the peace I was promised by my poison? Alcohol ...was not the answer I realized yet again..just as I've realized it so many times before . I shook it all off, my high.
I came crashing down. And I still had what's left of a smile on my face. Wierd is the word here..turn of events, me..

No body does the blues better

lOVE IS A WASTE OF OUR ENERGY- LIFE IS A WASTE OF OUR TIME- SO WHY DON'T WE GET TOGETHER AND WE COULD WASTE EVERYTHING TONIGHT. AND WE COULD WASTE IT ALL TONIGHT...
i've got a symbol in my driveway, i've got a hundred million dollar friends
i've got you a brand new weapon. lets see how destructive we can be

i've got a brand new set of stencils, ive been connecting all the dots,
got my plans in a zip lock bag .lets see how unproductive we can be

i've got a light bulb full of anger and i can switch it on and off
in situations it can be so bright i cant believe, how pathetic we can be!

i've got a perfect set of blueprints , im gonna build somebody else
might cost a little more than money,but whats man without his wealth

i've got a phosphorescent secret but dont you tell nobody else
next thing you knowthe whole world will be talking
about all the clues they got
THEY JUST AIN'T NO USE
THEY'VE GOT US FOOLED

Strumming my pain wth his fingers..singing my life with his words...'In times like these, in times like those'..Jack Johnson. gotta love him!

Uncertain, unstable and searching ground.

What can possibly cure the chaos in my mind? No alcohol will do, no music suffice. In a crowd, I find myself alone-with the sounds in my head. The night becomes a dreaded stretch of long silent hours. The world seems asleep and at peace. I console myself thinking maybe I'm not the only one crying myself to sleep tonight . But that doesn't seem to be of much help. The sounds turn into a frenzied banging of drums now...rhythms of which is out of sync with the throbbing in my head. That just makes it worse. Its too quiet outside. Oh god...let me get through this night. Let it be morning soon so I can finally rest my head on the pillow and hope of a dreamless sleep, amidst daytime noises that drown those in my head. Uncertainity is a wretched state of being.

The 'just-becoz-i-gta-blog' blog...

My seminar Professor hates me. he's given up on me. he barely laid eyes on my 26 page of hard work...I showed him my questionnaire for approval..didn't look at that either. I said I'm planning on doing 50 ..but is he satisfied with that? noooooo..he want a bloody 100 respondents questionnaire...in japanese....for the locals in Beppu! @#$*! He couldn't have thought of a more sinister way to ruin my life.

Thesis progress went down the drain today...first of all, I'd left all my notes back at home. So i'm sitting in the library thinking..hmmmm. Then eventually end up having a looooong group discussion on the various theories about LOST-season 2 finale and the dharma initiative bull ! was interesting..but...aaah...the nagging guilt inside. nag-gg-ging!! "thesis. deadlne. thesis. deadline....."!

Later at night we made two large bowls of real good sangria fruit punch and headed for stephen's birthday surprise. the party started out ...reaal slow but caught up a bit with Monica's plot guessing game and i even won the first round and surprised myself. Got a shy kiss from the birthday boy for it.* don't worry..nothing exciting..just a quick peck on the cheek* :).That was his punishment for being the birthday boy haha. lucky for him some guy didnt win. actually that would have been funner. So there was cake, drinks and a horny cat with a pink collar called topsy. left pretty early coz we ran out of sangria...the only alcohol source in that party. It's barely 1 am..and i'm hitting the sack. started off early today..so am totally drained by now.
Got work tomorrow at night then later to another party . miyuki's birthday on the 1st so we giving her surprise bash at the karaoke. well...I think it is a surprise...anyway..
Karaoke wa mou...akitaa!!no more for a while after tomorrow night.

Okinawa plans gaining momentum...yay!! beach . sun. my very own blue sky holiday!! it better not rain on me!

-Later days.

lol

Came across this picture out of the blue! Am posting it in context of my previous post.

Watched 20.21.23 of season 2, Lost tonight @ Rita's. With chilli doritos, prawn wafers,yummy lithuanian sausages and friends...it was a great watch. I truly heart Sawyer.
Sawyer(after screwing ana lucia): " What? you don't want my number?"
...they are LOST in an island!!! get it?!:) A whole lot of other one liners from this confidence man. Gotta love him. Showed a bit of his soft side as well when-------------dies! Yes..I am that considerate...no spoilers here!
Now waiting for the 2 hour long season finale....and hoping micheal dies. He is a bad bad man apart from the fact that he's I-wanna-rip-my-hair-out annoying!

Thesis status:

10 pages out of 70..!! 60 pages..25 days. I better gear up or i'll be up shit creek ...without a paddle.

22 days and counting down...

Now I must admit I'd never been anywhere close to interested in football. Although I did sit through the World cup 2002 finals- Brazil and Germany. And I watched a few videos of the 'best moments in football' waiting for a match to commense at 3am during the UEFA league championships in Portugal..but by then I'd fallen asleep! So yes..football meant THAT much to me. Until now. With 22 days left for the FIFA World Cup in Germany, I've been doing my homework. Checking out team profiles et al. Much left to be done before I can place a bet, if at all...but for now I'm rooting for Theo Walcott(arsenal)32, striker on england's team. england's not won a big one since.....a loong time ago 1966 world cup. But hopes are high this time around and my eyes are on Walcott, who just barely turned 17 in march this year!awwwwww..even Mr. No. 7..Uncle Beckham is happy with the 'young' one's...first rooney, now walcott.


As for Micheal Owen, he just looks yummy now don't he?!

hallelujah-RhaPSody in C major

I was sitting at joyfull tonight when they played a tune of a hymn we used to sing in school. 'Make me a channel of your peace', beautiful lyrics. Brought back a flood of memories from what seems like long ago. Our dreaded, looong morning assemblies with bible reading and countless hymns praising the Lord! That nun..Sr. Jane I think, with her stubbed, nail less toe! ewww..and how us girls used to giggle at the slighest hint of anything being possibly far away from funny a.k.a at anything and everything to while away time at that assembly. The pointless thought for the day quotes like "as the chinese proverb says, what goes up must come down!" -like fucking hell it has to come down bitch.whr the hell will it disappear?? up ur fat ass maybe. thanks for that. it was QUITE a thought for MY day. will think about it all fucking day long!-

Insert: "I will not indulge in blasphamy! Forgive me father for I have sinned!"

Anyway, talking of some good songs...thought of another beautiful one we had learned back in school. About 12 of us had done a choreograped dance on it!! Yes ,we danced to the beats (or lack there of) of a hymn!! That day in summer...was quite something actually! We drew the curtains in the auditorium and made it dark before the assembly started and about 2000 girls came marching in...hurriedly enjoying their last few moments of bliss on chewing gum before spitting it out, unfolding skirts to proper length and tieing up hair into that neat crappy school hairdo. The teachers had no clue what was happening but we said it was for our "thought for the day". There was a never before excited humm in that audi(except for when the finnish spiritual rock band performed) and then.... we entered the stage. With candles...dressed in all black, dark denim and t- shirts...with a few ugly variations here n there. Like a girl who had a black tee which read in bold red "NO FEAR". Never mind that...the point was to do our carefully choreographed slow dance with candles and sit and form a cross in the end, so that what was seen were just flames shaping the holy cross. I almost burnt the hair of a girl in front of me!! But we were applauded! We were cheered for. We were the little ratpack of saintly heroes that saved the day.Well... atleast the morning assembly. AND we had a message of hope to impart while at it. In short, we kicked ass/pussy in the convent! aah good old days.
Heres the song below: If u take time to read it..its got good lyrics. * have inserted our choreography as well. Note: Safe to perform at home*

Verse 1-There is a candle in every soul ( enter and slow walk with candle in hand)
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold ( hide flame here with free hand)
There is a Spirit who brings fire ( make spirit fingers)
Ignites a candle and makes His home (hold out candle in front)

Chorus-Carry your candle, run to the darkness (lift candle in air with both hands)
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn ( move free hand in one sweeping motion downward, palm up, subtly pointing at the Nuns)
Hold out your candle for all to see it ( hold candle with both hands again)
Take your candle, and go light your way

Verse 2-Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to (enter: a girl dresed as a thug)
Light his own candle some other way (shake head as if in deep sorrow and pity, keep a straight face while trying to supress bouts of giggles)
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to (enter: a girl looking sad but actually happy to be baring some skin with ripped clothes)
Still holds a candle without a flame

Chrous

V3-We are a family whose hearts are blazing ( troupe comes together while preparing for the final cross scene)
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky ( forget the sky..this is where I almost burnt a girl's hair!)
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

Repeat Chorus till fade. (form the cross finale, enjoy the silence bfo the applaud, then enjoy the applaud, exit stage. BLOW OUT CANDLE)

cbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcb

5 am..just got back from the super, cool bananas!! I'm obviously not drunk shitfaced coz I can frame this damn sentence without a typo. Was fun though..same old same old..but fun. danced like as if I would be rendered handicapped tomorrow!Legs, hands, muscles, veins, blood pumping..heart...beating....mind ...........loosing fast. got ..to.. get ...some.. sleep.. now.

a burger, a punk, a balls-grabbin'-old-perv, a gun and me

I was coming back to beppu..stopover nagoya...at the eki , a young punk. Walked around all smug but if you looked in his eyes you cud tell he's shitless scard and not too sure about how the next few minutes of his life is gna unfold. I was near a garbage can, eating a burger..not OUT of the garbage !eww...I was just hanging ard it for easy access to disposal of burger wrap!!So i'm eating..just doing my thing when this punk comes and sticks a gun on me and says he wants my bag. You'd think these things almost never happen in a country like Japan. I have a mouthful of burger. I paused my chewing.I was obviously dumbstruck but not scard. I wud've given the fellow my bag. He looked like this was his first time mugging someone. What followed was something rather peculiar..funny. A salary man walks past us and grabs the punk kid's balls and walks past as if he did this every day, normally. He doesn't even look back. Meanwhile, the kid has a look of death on his face...embarrassed to death! Eyes wide, jaw hanging ...
I knew there was my guardian angel in that salarayman, I took my chance. I took the gun from the kid's hand and told him, " kakoii na, kore wa..honto ni anata no?". And, he ran. He ran as if the devil was out to get him..out to grab his balls again perhaps?! I looked around,I could've dumped the thing into the garbage but instead, for a reason I cannot fathom even as i write this, I discreetly put the gun in my bag and walked on. I reached beppu, saw there were three bullets in that gorgeous thing. I smashed a few bottles in the park with it..missing one ..hitting two!!! Damn ! I was good at it. But then we all tend me make heroes of ourselves in dreams. In real life, I wonder how I wouldve handled the situation. But one things for sure, I would've sure loved to have that gun to myself anyways. y'know..just incase...bwahahaha.

The Shawshank Redemption.....hope sets you free!!

Another one of master story teller Stephen King's classics. The Green Mile was a good read and the movie was ok. This one about prison again, was one of those heard-alot-about-but-never-got-a-chance-to-watch movies.Until now. I just watched it and well...it was truly a piece of work. Worth those 3 hours of my life. It had been a while.

Andy(Tim robbins) , although innocent, is charged with two counts of murder of his wife and her lover . A sentence is carried out that he should serve life in prison. Once the prison gates swing shut on him, thats when the real movie starts. Entre: Inmate Red (morgan freeman), "the guy who can get anything from cigarrettes to shoe laces" for inmates, ofcourse charging 20%. Serving 20 years already, he knows everything within the prison walls too well. Or does he? He looses the bet he makes on Andy when he arrives at Shawshank prison.That the new guy Andy will be the first among others to break down and cry on his first night in the cell. Andy proves him wrong, costing Red 2 packs of lucky strike cigarettes !! *just precious*...the rest of the movie continues over a span of 20-30 years in prison, with dubious sub plots to keep one engaged. A movie about corruption,survival, lasting friendships and about making a choice: get busy living or get busy dying! But mainly the theme is centered around Hope and hope ....gets me. It's beautiful. Just makes me go a big mushy one! Excellent performance by actors...Perfect fin...perfect movie. :) yokatta. Not many good movies out there that leave you with an afterthought....
A chapter of 'Omerta' now and I'm calling it a night!

wedding bells, one too many...??

This is huge! I've just been asked to do the honour of being a bride's maid for my friend's wedding next fall! As it might be expected , I screamed.Then she screamed. Louder. We both screamed. I'm so excited and happy for her, she's found a good bloke for herself. And here I am still stuck on crushes....gosh I need to just grow up or something. There's a saying," always the bridesmaid, never the bride!" A rather scary saying..that one. Well never mind me*sigh*...it's her time now. We gonna celebrate!

This just in: Another girlfriend just got engaged to her year long boyfriendo and is now officially flashing a gold platinuim band...godamn ...I wanna get married toooooooooo0. Ok, maybe I went a bit overboard with the number of o's in too. but hell...i'd do it again...I wanna get married tooooooo!!:)

So, right here! Whats the deal-io, yo?

Is it a phase? Is it a feeling? nooo! It's (my silly-red-sheet-underwear-inside-out)Superman! and yea he's fashionably late and I'm waiting. Meanwhile, , , I will crush and flirt. crash and burn. trash and live on ...all this while simultaneously looking up to the night skies...wishing upon ... Krypton!Although the last I heard, the place was falling apart. AND Marlon Brando is really dead!

It's just a little crush...

my latest crush update:

name: Urushima
workplace: kuta ramen, chef
timings: 9pm -1:30am
best buds: mr. stupppid pervert and mr. cute-happy-smile. together they be the three stooges.
School: Beppu daikgaku
year: 2nd year
sport: baseball( beppu dai baseball team)
Eyes: dark
smile: killer. RARE!
class: Jock, sporty.
boy or Man? : seems to be getting there.
personality: quiet, smooth, kakkoi.
voice: deep
Attraction factor: ...,..., looks best when in concentration at work(which for him is cooking.)
Attraction level: red alert/High/normal/none/attraction?/whatever.
my flirt attempts: 2
his flirt attempts: 1.5
credit stars(out of 5): 3.5
hot factor(out of 5 chillies): 4 chillies
X factor(out of 5): 4
Crush or Trash?: Crush!

In memorium..phasing in.

Dear You,

With every beat ...with every breath ..I find myself running out of time. Don't have time to soak in all this glorious sun that bathes our bodies and our souls. Soon those dark clouds looming over there in that beckoning horizon will make its melodramatic entry into a picture perfect scene. Soon we'll be torn apart amidst an outburst of heavy rain. This rain..it will taste, not of sweet, pure heavenly showers, but of salt! Salt from the deep ocean of our hearts. Broken. Salt into the deepest cut.

What will be the last word I'd want to say to you before we part? I frame it in my head. I wonder. I don't want to say 'i'll miss you' for that I forever will. It's better left unspoken and for u to understand.I don't want to say 'take cake'...coz hell yea I want you to take good care. I don't want to say 'keep in touch' coz (apart from being lame) we will no matter what. I probably will just say two simple words.....'thank you'. For all the times we shared...all the life we lived...all the sighs we sighed together...all the nights we laughed and cried and all the days we spent.They will remain beautiful memories...vivid for a while. Inevitably, as Time moves on so stealthly...the memories will tend to blur ....but it will forever remain just like that. Like a beautiful dream- blurred at the edges. Those that make you softly smile in the morning upon vaguely remembering it. They will never fade. This is sumthing even a thief of the high Sahara can't steal from me on his night's work.
So thank you for these!! My life has a burst of colour because of it. And long after we're gone....our presence resonates in the stones, the trees..the roads we walked on...in everything. If you or I come back , years later and listen..we will surely hear our laughter on that short, sweet summer day.

Signed,
Yours Truly,
Senti n totally mental.
:)

being cyrus

afterthoughts? the king and the pawn *does* eventually go back to the same box. was different for an indie scene but nothing groundbreaking otherwise. kept me clueless till about the near end. seemingly effortless potryal of the dark and twisted. If only it wasn't for the uncoordinated audio/visual. Cyrus *saif ali khan* screamed, "Shit!!" and the lip followed one whole minute later. technical hitches be damned. Dimple Kapadia was her 'bees saal baad' self. Scary woman that one. Naseruddin Shah..m'ashaallah! he's always good. Simone singh did quite well too...in the bit where she played a bitch. hmmm...no spoilers here for those who haven't watched yet.

new thread

ek gilasi, do gilasi, teen gilasi, char....!! raise em high up... its time for a toast!
here's to new beginnings. a new blog. the rest is unwritten. the best is unwritten. :)