a window to the present

dissertation status: over!
degree status: pending!
So this wait until November to find out if I get a Master of Science Degree or just a diploma is going to be intersting to say the least. The dissertation is the deciding factor. My work on it was a bit sketchy. Not sure if my not-so-rational arguements and methodological approach to policy research was academially valid, let alone intellectually stimulating. I was the last person in my course to submit my work and that too an hour late! I sat there trying to proof read and edit my 14700 word paper in front of a very pissed off postgrad secretary. Finally, she said its time she locked the office and went home after which I had no choice but to print my haphazard paper, un edited, un formatted, a mess- and sumbit it. I know right now what will play against me in marking-
a, Word count ...which was supposed to be 20,000.
b,lots of erronous writing
c, s fucked up title which I came up with in the last 2 minutes coz I had totally forgot about giving my work a title!!
d, a 2 paragraph disoriented conclusion written in 20 minutes.
e,awhole paragraph I was supposed to delete but forgot to in the last minute therefore looking like sore thumb in a fairly satisfactory flow of argument.
f, stands for FUCK!!!!!
g, alot more that two examiners are going to crtitique on.

Considering the above, my chances for a degree is on shaky grounds. I might get a 2 week period of revision if I come under the fail criteria. This is to improve the work a little so it can come up to a "proceed to MSc." criteria. But even of that does happen, it delays my graduation for up until a year!

This uncertainty imples that I cannot start looking for graduate jobs coz im not sure if im gratuating with a degree! As if I needed a reason NOT to job hunt in the first place. I was just looking through career services website for graduate jobs currently on offer...and there was nothing. Either their requirements put me off coz they asked for the PERFECT employable person or the job description itself was not my cup of ..erm..not my shot of tequila. I started with environmental consultant job search cz its relevant to my studies. But by the end of two hours, I was searching for jobs in publishing and editing, temping for lawyers, safari guides, and even law enforcement with the Strathcyle police!! Whatever will become of me. Meanwhile, I am slowly getting pressurized by mother dearest to start looking for the one...how she will not have me unmarried until im 30 or something. All this seems surreal to me- career,marriage, starting a family. I am old enough and I should get real but somehow,to borrow an analogy, peter pan still asks me to fly out the window. This is starting to be of some concern to me now.
Should I take it as it comes like i always have? Will things work out fine that way? Will life work out fine? The unanswered questions collected during this strange limbo is the worst of its kind.
I dont have a strategy for life, no game plan...I doubt many do either. My immediate hurdle is to find a decent flat and move in ASAP. Once thats realized will move on to the next question which is appropriately, "Now what?". Guess will take it as it comes coz I dont know any other way. I will not ask God for strength and clarity of vision for some gaol in life. Because what the guy does is just give you a trying situation to get yourself out of and "find" the strength in you yourself. All he does is give you a cloud of fog and mist to "find" what you search for.